The View From My Hospital Bed

by Geometric Shapes

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about

The View From My Hospital Bed, is an album created by Jeremy Braacx and Heidi Braacx, founding members of the band Geometric Shapes.
Their debut release, available for download only, features nine tracks self recorded, primarily in the bathroom of their basement suite.
A main theme present throughout the album is the struggle with illness (specifically Crohn's Disease), that Jeremy has been battling since age 11.
The album has been released just prior to lead singer/songwriter Jeremy Braacx, being admitted to hospital to undergo an autologous stem cell transplant to hopefully help treat his disease. Proceeds made from album sales will go to supporting his family during his procedure and recovery. Thank-you so much for your support.

credits

released 06 January 2013

Jeremy Braacx - vocals, guitar, harmonica, percussion
Heidi Braacx - vocals, ukulele, violin
Elizabeth Powell - piano on "When I'm Made New"

Cover photo by Rick Vugteveen

All songs written by Jeremy Braacx except, "When I'm Made New" - written by Jeremy Braacx & Heidi Braacx

Special Thanks to former band members who helped shape the creative development of many of these songs; to Mark Dykstra for production help; to Rick Vugteveen who lent us his condenser microphone with which much of the album was recorded; to Colleen VanOoyen and the friendly staff at Royal Columbian Hospital Surgical Daycare for facilitating our album cover photo shoot; to friends and family who have supported and encouraged us in our music; and to the Creator of music.

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Track Name: Eye of a Needle
EYE OF A NEEDLE

I’ve been trying to drive my car
Through the eye of a needle
Through the eye of a needle
I’ve been trying to drive my car
Through the eye of a needle
Through the eye of a needle to no avail
Maybe if you drive it a little bit faster?
Maybe if you throw out all of your passengers? And have a go again
I’ve been trying to drive my car
Through the eye of a needle
Through the eye of a needle to no avail

Love, loosen my grip
Slap me on the lip ‘til my jaw unlocks
Wash away the sand from beneath my socks and topple me

I’ve been trying to park this barge
On the tip of my finger
On the tip of my finger—it’s difficult
I’ve been trying to park this barge
On the tip of my finger
But now it’s breaking into splinters before my eyes
I think you might be heading for disaster
Drifting toward the kingdom of the wrong master
Better turn back now
I think it might still be ok
Turn back now
I just can’t see it any other way
Turn back now
All these treasures I’ve been storing up
I just can’t give ‘em up, give ‘em up, give ‘em up, I give up

Love, loosen my grip
Slap me on the lip ‘til my jaw unlocks
Wash away the sand from beneath my socks and topple me
Love, shoot down my nest
Teach me not to rest in worldly treasure
Expose my cushion for a cloud of feathers—it’s nothingness
Love, tear down my wall
Shatter mirror ball, of my forged future
Come and rearrange all of the furniture inside my house
To your liking
And make yourself home
Track Name: Simple Mathematics
SIMPLE MATHEMATICS

Geometric shapes surround me
I took the hypotenuse of a right triangle
But I got it wrong
And I’m drowning
In simple mathematics
But I bet John Nash (Jr.) couldn’t figure out this one

So I took my pencil and I started drawing
Pictures of perfect, plastic people
Under a clear and cloudless sky
But when I’m colouring
No matter how hard I try
I cannot seem to get it in between the lines

Quiet places terrify me
Is that an unusual admission to be making
Before a silent crowd
But I’m not lying
Of course that is only half of the story
For crying out loud
Track Name: Swallow
SWALLOW

Swallow, fly to your home in the wall of the hospital
I am stuck here inside and you may be, but I’m not free at all

My dance partner has been
This intravenous pole
I am tired of the spin
I am so tired of spinning her

My mind’s been going whirr-tick-tick
To the sound of my IV pump
I have been so tired and sick
So sick and tired of thinking about

Swallow fly into my chest
Make a nest; build a home
Swallow fly into my chest
Make a nest; fill the hole
Inside my soul…

I heard of one that can raise the dead
Transform the view from my hospital bed
Track Name: Crutch
CRUTCH

I will lean on you
You will be my crutch
As sure as the time
On my digital wrist watch
Lean on you
You will be my crutch
As sure as the time
On my digital wrist watch

But I know that there is no hiding
From what my bathroom scale’s been describing
Should I just lie to myself
Try viewing my health
Through a lens that is cleaner
Or is it, or is it?

But what my body’s been saying
And a dark voice, should I choose to listen,
“Is your great physician
As great as they say he is
Omnipotent and such
Don’t seem to help you much
The meds don’t seem to be working"
Or are they, or are they?

But this thought always still gets me
You never said it would be easy
So what is the matter
You’re climbing a ladder
The rungs getting thinner
They begin to splinter
They’re not going anywhere, anyway
Or are they, or are they?

I am sure of what I hope for often
Mostly certain of what I do not see
But father please hear me
I ask: please forgive me
For the spaces between
Track Name: Snowflakes Fall Slowly
SNOWFLAKES FALL SLOWLY

I’ve got to get out of this space
Things have fallen out of their places inside my body
I fiddle and sway
If I go outside will you go with me?
I know that it’s cold out there
But if you let me I’ll keep you warm

Take a walk through the city
Watch the snowflakes fall slowly
Fall on you; on me, and on you; on me (they’re falling down)
Makes the sky look so pretty
As the snowflakes fall slowly
Fall on you; on me, and on you; on me (they’re falling down)

We walk the path through the park
There’s a swelling inside my heart
It means something maybe
The waters they part
If I walk through will you walk through with me?
Uncertainties make me scared
But it’s still better than going it alone

Come back inside and start a fire
Haven’t felt this safe in awhile
I’m thinking to myself
If only your smile
Could guarantee a new book on the shelf with stories and
Illustrations that never fade
We’ll read them ‘til the pages are torn
Track Name: Overflow
OVERFLOW

A typical night I guess
A room in a vacant frame
A persistent tummy ache
That dragon cannot be tamed
As cries to the man upstairs
Are shredded by paper walls
And hopelessness rises up
As desolate pieces fall
To collect in my empty cup

This morning when I awoke
I found that my cup was dry
I took a second look
After wiping sleep from my eye
But sure enough there was no
Hydration to be found
My fingers fell deathly limp
And my cup fell towards the ground

A deafening crash it was
As pieces of shattered clay
Spread cross the hardened earth
That solid ground You had made
By speaking to that which was
At one time without a form
In that instant my cup in hand
Was completely restored

And so I’ll pray that you
Will once again fill my cup
If it’s full to the brim
It’s still not full enough
I want it to overflow
To drown out my house of cards
And then continue on
To flood out my neighbour’s yard

Like a plant that’s thirsty won’t you give me some water?
Let me drink it up; drink it up
And my soul is weary; won’t you set it on fire?
Come and burn it up; burn it up
And my face is dirty; won’t you make it shine brighter
Come and clean it up; clean it up
And my shoes are heavy; won’t you make them feel lighter?
Come and lift me up; lift me up
Track Name: Night Vision
NIGHT VISION

Was I asleep or awake?
I heard a voice it said “wait,
I know the plans I have for you
plans not intetended to hurt or to harm you
though struggles in life tend to get in the way
though the path, looking back, is more crooked than straight
though so often you find that there’s no words, there’s no words to say”

so I’ll wait patiently
and take rest in Thee
‘till one day my strength will be restored
and take to the air like an eagle, I’ll soar
and I’ll use both my eyes though I so rarely see
and I’ll walk with my legs though I’m weak in the knees
and I’ll trust you despite all these incomprehensible things…
Track Name: When I'm Made New
WHEN I'M MADE NEW

When I’m made new
What a day that will be
Look at me, you
When I am made new
When I’m made new
From my head to my feet
Oh the great truth
When I am made new

I’ll take that bicycle
Abandoned in the alley
Give it some love, teach her how to ride again
I’ll ride the west coast
Chase California sun
Swim through sand dunes, walk on water in the rain

I’ll play piano
Just like Billy Joel
Write serene songs like Leonard Cohen
My voice will sound just like
Jeff Buckley’s maybe better
Throw your hands up, sway to the motion

I’ll sail to Thailand in a Fortune-30
Pedal up the steep side of every hill
I’ll grow a garden; get my hands real dirty
Bath in the waters of artesian well
I’ll write my plans out in ink and check them off
Not gonna wait for that last letter to drop
I will be ready to start this life again
Jump off the back-side of the misty mountain

Follow me
Where I’m going
There’s no need
To pack your things

Do you feel the sunlight?
Do you see the moon? (I think I do)
Do you hear the music?
Do you believe it’s true?
I am made new
Track Name: Maybe You Should Run
MAYBE YOU SHOULD RUN

Will you still love my when my hair falls out; when it’s all gone, and
Will you still want me when my libido drops to below one, and
Will you still hold my hand, despite excreted cytotoxins
Will I still be your man despite my being completely broken

Maybe it’s best if you wear eye protection, a mask and gloves, or
Maybe it’s best my love, I think it might be best if you run
If you run

I will still love you when your hair falls out; when it’s all gone, and
I will still want you when your libido drops to below one, and
I will still hold your hand, despite residual cytotoxins
Isn’t it true that we are all in some way bruised and broken

I think it’s best that I stay close by your side; I’ll leave you never
I think it’s true my love, I know that it is true that you’ll get better
You will get better
So shut-up, you’ll soon be better